This is mostly for guys in SL, but also applies to RL experiences. I’m putting this up to help some guys who appear to need a little extra information in life on how to handle girls like me.
The Column System
An Introductory Course on Girl-Boy Relations
by Summer Seale.
A lot of people want to fuck me in SL and RL. However, since I’m writing this on Summer’s blog, and Summer is somebody in SL, I hope that SL boys will read this and apply this information wisely.
When I walk into a place in SL, I usually get inundated with IMs within seconds of my rezzing.
Most of them are from guys, yes.
They generally tend to follow the usual pattern:
“hey baby u so hot”.
“u want fuck?”
“u want sexy w me girl?”
“hello beauty” – denotes non-English speaker with 99.99999990651% accuracy instantly.
At this point, I usually put them down very quietly and firmly. Most of the time, this involves extreme humiliation and excoriation dished out towards them from yours truly. I sort of enjoy my witty retorts. Some examples:
[05:54] XXXX XXXX: hi
[05:54] Summer Seale: hi
[05:55] XXXX XXXX: will u make sex?
[05:55] Summer Seale: that’s going in my profile
[8:08] Idiot1: hi
[8:08] Idiot1: you re sexy
[8:08] Idiot1: you like take rl plesure here
[8:09] Summer Seale: back off, man….i’m a scientist.
[5:57] Idiot2: Hello sexy girl
[5:57] Idiot2: i like your body
[5:57] Summer Seale: thanks, i made it. you didn’t make yours, so i’m not impressed with you… =)
[18:49] Idiot3: please love me
[18:49] Summer Seale: you didn’t get enough of that from your mother?
[18:50] Idiot3: I had no sex w my mother
[18:51] Summer Seale: and you want something from me your mother wouldn’t even give you? =)
[4:18] Another Idiot: baby, you are stunning!
[4:19] Summer Seale: i know.
[4:31] Moron: Hey sexy
[4:32] Summer Seale: you can do better than that can’t you?
[4:32] Moron n: I can do better
[4:32] Summer Seale: so try again
[4:33] Moron: Hello Princess
[4:33] Summer Seale: better
[4:44] Clueless: come with me baby
[4:45] Summer Seale: why?
[1:49] Lost Guy: Hello Baby I know a better place
[1:49] Summer Seale: i own a better place.
[1:50] Summer Seale: but i’m not going to fuck you, no matter which place we go to. =)
[2:34] Humiliated Guy1: you are hot baby
[2:35] Summer Seale: i know
[2:35] Humiliated Guy1: lets fuck
[2:35] Summer Seale: why?
[2:36] Humiliated Guy1: i am horney
[2:36] Summer Seale: well, i bet your hand is hornier than i am.
[2:58] Humiliated Guy2: i wonna fuck you
[2:59] Summer Seale: you’re an idiot.
[21:02] Rebuffed Guy1: hello there …
[21:02] Summer Seale: lol like you have a chance. =)
(Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent)
There are just a few choice selections amongst the thousands that I’ve had in the last three and a half years of being in SL. They are but a small drop in the bucket compared to the ones I’ve had in RL. It is easy to see the extremely practiced and effortless way that I respond to all of these…”men”. This should give you a clue as to the amount of practice I’ve had in RL and SL since years, and years, and years.
Now, that isn’t to say that some of them aren’t nice guys. Some of them probably are nice guys. In fact, after rebuffing some guys, they sometimes (rarely) come back and try to start again. At this point, I put them in the “human” category, which I also include new guys who say hello to me in a nice way their very first time.
I won’t post more tidbits at this point; a quick summary shall suffice:
They say hello (and try again for some). I know what they generally want. I confront them with this after a few cute little words and some slight banter, to which they act shocked and surprised! telling me, no less, that all they want to be is friends.
That’s what they really want, you see. They insist that it is true. They like me because I am so awesomely cool at my replies and comebacks. They just love to hang out with a witty girl like me.
Friends, they say. Friends.
Now we’re getting to the reason for this entire introductory course.
There are three columns into which a girl like me puts her “Friends”.
Column A: I’ll fuck you often and hard, anytime I get the chance.
Column B: You’re a “Friend” but something could really happen at some point down the road to put you in Column A.
Column C: We’re just “Friends”.
It’s a simple system of classification and it makes things quite easy for me, what with the tons of requests I get every day in SL to hang out with more “Friends”.
If you’re in Column A or Column B, moving between the two can be fairly easy at times. Moving back and forth is entirely possible and based on your reactions and my whims. Sometimes there are several steps to move between those two columns, but suffice it to say that you’re still mobile – unless I marry you or something.
If you land in Column C, however, that’s it: Game over, man. Game over.
We’re just “Friends”. That’s what you really wanted, right? Well, I love to make people happy because, deep down, I’m a really sweet and nice girl. So we’re just “Friends”. If you ask for it, I really will oblige.
Usually, at this point, when a guy lands in Column C, he thinks he’s got it made…until he realizes he’s trapped. He didn’t pass Go, he didn’t collect L$200, and he’s staying in jail no matter how many doubles he rolls. At this point, I know if a guy really wanted to land there on purpose, because he’s a super nice guy and already has somebody he loves in his life, or if he really thinks he totally fucking screwed up and made an incredibly bad mistake.
Most of the Column C guys usually vanish from my life quite quickly, which is somewhat of a relief for me. A few stay and are really awesome, and I know they actually meant it. That’s pretty rare, but it does happen. To those, I curtsy and am glad to have them as Friends. Real friends. You know, people I hang out with and laugh and stuff.
It’s pretty rare, but it does sometimes happen.
There are some things that people should take away with this little introduction: I’m a pretty open girl. I like honesty in intentions. If you really just want to fuck me, say so! But do it well. Think it out before you say something, or you’ll sound like such an idiot to me. Remember, there’s almost nothing I haven’t already heard before. Also, guys, please care for your appearance in SL. Some guys do and look pretty awesome, some look good in a generic sense, but so many look like they walked off of newbie island, straight into a sex area, wearing their freebie cocks and skins and bad hair, and expect me to react in a good way towards them.
When confronted, they call me shallow because I shouldn’t care about appearances.
They think that I should look deep into their souls and find the caring, special person that they are, after IMing me with the garrulous essays of their entire character formed within the words: “u sexy girl make fuck?”
I may be a blonde genius, but that’s far beyond even my capabilities.
If you’re reading this for the first time, and you haven’t IMed me yet, please consider all of this very, very, carefully.
If you’re reading this for the first time because you IMed me something stupid and I’m actually giving you a second chance, please consider all of this even more carefully.
Class dismissed! (for now)